Waving Good-Bye

Last night I went out to drinks with my nine-month-old Granddaughter, Rowan.

Tomorrow she ships out, headed for a new life in Texas with her Mommy, my daughter, and Nik, a guy I don't know well, but already respect.

I expect they are all going to do fine together. It seems right.

They, however, are not what this post is about.

This post is about waving good-bye.

When I was a kid, every summer the family would pile into the station wagon (think National Lampoon's Family Vacation) and head to the Northern part of North Dakota to visit my grandparents.

We'd spend a week or two on the farm, eating Grandma's cookies, going to town, taking lunch to Grandpa in the field, chasing sheep, visiting the cows, exploring, playing, joking.

Then, in the blink of an eye,  it would be time to leave.

I'd wave good-bye from the rear-facing back seat of the old Family Truckster until my grandparents and the farm were out of site. I'd wave until my wrist hurt.

Those good-bye moments have been on my mind a lot lately.

There was something in the eyes of my Grandparents during those marathon waving sessions that I was never really able to define or understand at the time and I'm not sure I can define or understand it now. A Joyful sadness. A sense of time passing. Love. Mortality. Hope for the future. Melancholy. Wistfulness. 

Tasha, my wife, remembers the same waving marathons with her grandparents--and the same look in their eyes.

I've waved good-bye to extended family and friends, to my own children as they have set out on different adventures, and to hundreds of child care and community center kids over the last 25 years.

None of those good-bye moments will compare to tomorrow.

Tomorrow, when Rowan heads off for her new life, I will melt as I wave good-bye.

I'll have the same look I remember in the eyes of my Grandparents.

I'll do my best to relish every moment of it--to fully feel the feelings.

Time passes ever so fast and we have to live fully in all our moments, even the moments where we are waving good-bye.

Draining the Regulatory Swamp

One of my favorite things about I traveling across the country speaking at child care trainings is talking shop with other early learning professionals. One topic that comes up frequently is the growth of the regulatory swamp--it is getting wider, deeper, and murkier. 

Well-intentioned  dogooders are always looking for ways to improve life for other people--even if those other people want nothing to do with the changes. 

In their rush to enriched nutrition, improved quality, reduced risk, expanded professionalism, and increased learning these dogooders often trample Thoughtfulness, Common Sense, Reason, and Respect. They implement, they dictate, they regulate, they impose, and they mandate with zealous fervor. 

Now, sometimes rules and regulations do need updating. Sometimes new polices are a good idea. All early learning professionals want safe, healthy, and well cared for children.

But sometimes it is just change for the sake of change. Sometimes it is an effort to be politically correct. Sometimes it is a chance to grow the bureaucracy. Sometimes it is an attempt to keep up with bordering states. 

These changes always seem to increase costs and add to the workload and stress of caregivers. 

Their development often happens behind closed doors. The dogooders may put on a show of seeking 'buy-in' and  'consensus'. They may conduct surveys, convene focus groups, send emails, and hold meetings, but in the end they implement whatever change they wanted in the first place. 

The sad thing is that too many child care providers and preschool teachers feel powerless and unable to fight against changes they do not agree with, do not want, and do not support. 

Our profession is often marginalized and belittled so many folks working in the field do not feel valuable or important. Too many caregivers fail to realize the power they have to influence and drive decisions made about their profession. Many have been beaten down and marginalized by the systems they work in for so long that they do not believe raising their voice in protest would help. Some fear that speaking up would cost them their job or program funding. A few brave souls speak up and try to make a difference, but without support from peers their cries are often ignored.  

There is no simple answer to this problem. The only way to slow the growth of the regulatory swamp is to for lots of concerned professionals to speak up and ask questions. This can be an uncomfortable and maybe scary undertaking. The fear of sticking your neck out can be paralyzing. 

The good news is that it has never been easier for concerned caregivers to come together using social media and other digital technology to shine a light on the regulatory swamp. It has never been easier to speak out against unwanted policy changes, mandates, and regulations.

One important thing you can do is publicly questions Decision Makers and Deciders.

No matter what the issue is, here are some questions to start with:

1) Can you explain in two simple sentences why this change is necessary? 

2) Does this change create more work, expense, or stress for the people it impacts? 

3) What are the real costs of this change and how is it funded? 

4) What are some unintended consequences that could arise from this change?

5) How do you know it will bring about the change you intend?

Each of those questions should be followed up with this all important one:

Can you show me some proof?


This is your choice: sit quietly as the regulator swamp grows or act up, raise your voice, and help drain it. 

Buy It or Walk By It?

This is a companion to my last post (http://www.jeffajohnson.com/2012/10/should-it-stay-or-should-it-go.html) intended to help parents and caregivers pick new toys for kids. You will immediately notice a bias toward toys that are not tied to movies or TV shows and do not have batteries. In my experience, simple toys are more engaging, lead to deeper play experiences, are less likely to overstimulate kids and annoy adults, and better facilitate creativity. If you disagree that is fine--this flow-chart is simply not for you.

You can find a PDF version of the above image here.

Should It Stay Or Should It Go?

Parents and caregivers frequently find themselves facing over-following toy boxes and playrooms. Deciding what should stay and what should go can be overwhelming. To help simplify this process we have come up with the not-terribly-complicated Should It Stay or Should It Go flow-chart:

Dump it does not necessarily mean toss it in the trash--you can donate or recycle the items you decide to get rid of (although I have no problem trashing some toys due to their total lack of play value.) Use your best judgment, if the toy can have a happy life someplace else by all means make that happen.

You can also download a PDF of the above flowchart here.

We are currently working on a similar graphic to help shoppers decide what toys to buy.

Book Cover Photo Search

Earlier this year, my new book--Let Them Play--came out. I wrote it with Denita Dinger (check out her blog) and Redleaf press did the publishing. 

The photo used for the cover was shared by my online buddy Heather Jones. I had asked people paying attention to my Facebook page to share photos I could use in some projects and Heather's photo struck me as perfect for the book. 


Well, next year Redleaf Press will publish another book I wrote with Denita and it is time to hunt down a cover photo. As part of that process we decided to do an online photo search with the hopes of finding just the right image for the cover.


If you're interested in submitting a photo, keep reading for more information. If you're not interested, please share this post with someone who might be.


The book
The book is a follow-up to Let Them Play full of hands-on, play-full, learning-rich activities and projects intended to help support (Un)Curriculums. The format is a lot like my books Do-It-Yourself Early Learning and Everyday Early Learning. 


The Image
We want to find the right shot. The problem is the right shot is hard to define. It is kind of a gut thing--you just kind of know it when you see it. While we can not tell you exactly what the right shot will look like, we an tell you some traits it will possess. It will:

• Be a shot that captures a child engaged in play.
• Not be posed--or at least noticeably posed.
• Be a vertical shot, not a horizontal shot-it has to fit the format of the book. 
• Be a shot that has space for text--there must be room for the title.
• Be a sharply focused shot--blurry is bad.
• Show the child's full face--profiles will not work.
• Be available as a high resolution large format file--we need a big image with high DPI.
• Be usable. The person submitting the photo must be able to provide signed releases from the photographer and the parent(s) of the child.

Any images that fall short on any of these standards should not even be submitted.


Some examples
Here are cover shots of a few of my books to give you an idea of what we are looking for:

The process
Here's how we're going to run the cover photo search:

• To submit a photo, post it on our Let Them Play Facebook page.
• Denita and I will review all the submitted images and select a few that we like.
• We will vet those images and make sure all the above standards are met.
• The images that make it through our vetting process will be shared with the folks at Redleaf Press where they will be considered along with other photos that the cover design folks have come up with.
• If one of the images submitted through this process is selected as the book cover, they photographer will be credited with the shot in the book, and when the book is published Denita and I will send them 3 signed copies of the book.

The deadline
We don't really have one yet. We will post a hard deadline when we have one. Don't put this off to long though, sooner is always better. 


We're eager to see the submissions because we know there are some great photographers out there who will share their work. Thanks in advance for participating--and if you have questions, you can post them in the comment section below or email me.

Toy Of The Month Club

Modern toys tend to be made with too much plastic, 

too many batteries, 

too many marketing tie-ins, 

and too few open-ended play opportunities. 


I've always preferred simple toys made of simple materials. In my experience (as a child and an adult caregiver) such toys lead to more creativity and more open-ended play. Too many adults forget that play originates in the child, not in the toy.


This desire for simpler toys and play materials led to my Redleaf Press books Do-It-Yourself Early Learning and Everyday Early Learning. I wanted to share ideas for simple, hands-on, child-led, open-ended toys adults could make themselves.


Some people, however, do not have the time, energy, or inclination to DIY, and many of them started asking, "why don't you make this stuff and sell it so I can buy it?"


After hearing that dozens of times, I gave it a try and over the last few years it has led to a wide and ever growing collection of low-tech toys that offer high-think play. We've had some success with this endeavor and have now shipped to most US states and many other countries. We are also on the verge of licensing some of our items for production outside the US.


Now, we're rolling out a fun new way to share our toys: 

Members will receive a fresh-from-the-shop package of play each month. Here are some details:


Toys. The toys will be items from our Webshop, new items not currently available online, and special limited run items created just for the Toy Of The Month Club.

 Ages. The toys are best for kids from about 3-7 years of age. 

Membership Perks. Members of the Toy Of The Month Club will also receive:

• Free copies of all digital products I publish during their membership
• Coupon code for discounts on all online learning opportunities we offer
• Coupon code for discounts on all Webshop purchases
• Special offers for limited-run items

Shipping. Shipping is included in the membership price. 


Availability. This offer is currently only available in the US. If there is enough interest we will figure out how to make it available internationally. If you're outside the US and want to participate, let us know at jeffajohnson@cableone.net.
 

Who should join.
We've created the Toy Of The Month Club  with the following membership in mind: Gift Givers--Want to give a membership as a birthday, holiday, or Just Because gift? Just let us know who the lucky recipient is when you join and we will send a special card with a message from you with their first package.  Child Care Programs--Membership is a fun and economical way for early learning programs to add hands-on play to their environments. Agencies--If your agency wants to purchase Toy Of The Month Club memberships for families or child care programs you serve, please contact us and we will help streamline the registration process and work to get you the most bang for your buck.

Introductory Pricing. Right Now is the best time to sign up. The introductory prices are only available through the end of 2012.


Special Offers. Each month we will make the toy of the month available to non-members on our Facebook Page. The price will be a bit higher, but this will be a good option for folks not interested in a long term commitment.


Learn More. Click Here to learn more.

Should We Stay Or Should We Go?

A few months ago, a family child care buddy--we'll call her jean--sent me a heartbreaking email. A family she had served for years was contemplating moving their child to a formal preschool program. The parents were torn. They loved the caregiver's program, but felt the change was the right choice to prepare their child for school. Parents are eager to make good choices for their kids, but figuring out which choices are the good ones is a struggle. (This is the topic of my book Babies In The Rain.)

I frequently hear about situations like this and thought that writing about Jean's experience might help others going thought similar situations.

Jean did not know what to do. She loved the child and the family and did not want to lose them and she was sure her program was a better fit for the child. I asked Jean if I could write them an email. Here is an edited version of what I wrote:

Dear Kendra and Jim,

As parents we want the best for our kids: we want them to be happy, we want them to do well in school, we want them to lead happy and successful adult lives. We are also under a lot of pressure: our peers, our families, the media, our fears all push us to decisions and choices. Parenthood is hard work and you have a hard choice to make.

But then again, I don’t think the choice is quite so hard.

What teachers want most on the first day of school is children who are able to self-govern: kids who have decent (not perfect) impulse control, kids who can make it into and out of the bathroom by themselves, kids who are able to get along with their peers most of the time, kids who are respectful of people and things (most of the time). If a child is able to do the above and knows some numbers, some letters, and how to hold a book, most kindergarten teachers I know feel blessed.

Your daughter has spent most of her life in Jean’s care. If that is the case, I have no doubt she will be ready for school when the time comes and her teacher will feel blessed to have her as a student. See, the early years are about relationships. In many of my books I talk about the importance of the Emotional Environments we create for children. Children who are nestled in a warm, loving, nurturing, joyful emotional environment bloom. They feel emotionally safe and are able to relax enough to fully engage the world and all its opportunities for learning. When she is five and it is time to learn to do things like stand in line she’ll probably do it quickly and without much effort due to her years of strong emotional connection with Jean while in care and with the two of you when at home.

I hear stories from parents and caregivers all over the world and one recurring theme is children moved from programs where they had long and strong emotional roots and placed in programs where they are the newcomer. What happens in these situations is that the child feels a huge sense of loss—they miss their old routine and they miss their old relationships. It also takes a great deal of time for young kids to build new relationships and if the new environment is very different the adjustment can be a real challenge.

Kids are only kids once and I think we adults need to let them enjoy it. My newest book is about how society is rushing kids through their childhoods, stealing play time, and pushing them into academics too early.

In some cases, I think you would be totally correct to send her to another program--sometimes programs just don't 'fit' right. But if your daughter is happy, and secure, and learning why mess that up? I know Jean and have visited her program, she has created a warm and loving program full of play and learning. If your daughter is happy and learning with Jean, leave her there. If the emotional environment is strong, don't mess with it. Allow all her relationships there to deepen and thrive. It's the best thing you could do to prepare her for school.

If you have any questions let me know.

Health and Happiness,

Jeff

The family stayed with Jean. Last I heard, everyone was happy and doing well. 

Why move a happy child to a new program?

When considering a change in their child care program, I think parents should consider the following:

• Is the child happy?

• Is the child learning?

• Do you get along with the caregiver most of the time?

• Which choice will help you and your child sleep well?

If the relationships are not working, consider a change.

In the end early learning is about relationships. If the relationships are working why mess with them?


What are your thoughts and experiences?